The Brave and The Coward
by kralizac
Summary: In a single instance, can the human heart both be most brave and most coward?


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_LucasArts owns Star Wars, the name Skywalker and Admiral Stazi. Everything else is mine while playing in the Star Wars universe._

This short story is set during the Battle of Coruscant, Sith-Imperial War.

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_Jedi should love. It is not passion, the Jedi must avoid. It is the attachment that comes with passion._

- Mara Jade Skywalker, _The Mysteries of the Jedi Code _

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The human heart is a masterpiece of work filled with infinite mystery. Can anyone truly understand and appreciate this marvelous creation? The great depth it falls for hate, lust, greed and power. The heights the human heart ascends to for beauty, for loyalty, for self-sacrifice, for love. In a single instance, can it both be most brave and most coward? 

The space around us bloomed like a thousand rainbows all exploding in a kaleidoscope of beauty and wonder. The bitter truth is that it would be foolish to see the romance in it. For every explosion, count a thousand men dying, laying down their lives for belief. We were at war. And this was the space above Coruscant. 

I let my mind wander to another time when a Jedi Master would have said, "Begun, the Battle of Coruscant has!"

An angelic voice pulled him out of my reverie. "Message coming from the Temple".

That was Yvonne. She was pilot of my ship. She was my bodyguard on the ground. She held my secrets. And all these years through fall and rise, my trusted and often only companion. She was utterly loyal, and fiercely devoted. She was blonde, blue-eyed, a living breathing human male fantasy. 

I turned to the console to my left. The message was encrypted text that the Temple's massive computers were programmed to relay to me upon arrival in theater. That alone communicated the depth of the problem at hand. Every Jedi were busy defending the Temple and the planet. The message was from Skywalker. yes, _the_ Skywalker. Master Jedi.

_Assume command of Delta Wing upon arrival in sector._ The message read. _Coruscant's defense was paramount. Alliance Fleet was in Caamas. The Jedi are all the stands between the Sith and the Galactic Alliance._

It was crunch time. Fate of the known universe hanging in the balance. And the Jedi were all that stood between defeat and victory. No big deal, most people might think. We do this all the time. This was what the Jedi were for. The struggle for life against death; for freedom against the darkness.

_Hit and Slash_, Skywalker had planed for our little band. My ship,_Nevermore_ was a light attack freighter. We had powerful rotating dorsal and ventricle turbo and ion cannons, not to mention our forward torpedo launchers and rear deployed mines. Our engines were as fast as the legendary _Millennium Falcon_ and twice as maneuverable as that ancient pile of junk. 

I sent the signal to Delta: Form up behind _Nevermore_. My ship would take the lead.

Yvonne flew _Nevermore _with the grace of a dancer. It was my job to find targets and blow them up. It wasn't a problem. It was a few minutes later when Delta Lead called. "Welcome to the party, Master Morio!" Commander Kristyn Troi grunted as a shockwave rocked her Eta-class starfighter. "Delta Squadron reporting. Orders, sir?" 

"You know the drill Commander: dual saber hit and slash". When one blade would slash, the other would block and parry. _Nevermore_ was a lightsaber and so was the entirety of Delta Wing. For what seemed like hours, we were a relentless force. Slashing left, slashing right and the Sith for the moment was held back. We were unstoppable.

The moment of course, had passed. 

Troi gave a heads up that a civilian freighter had exited hyperspace, entered the theater of war and was under attack. 

The once and former Sith in me knew the choice that had to be made. Sacrifice them for the good of the many. I knew that that darkness flowed through me, quick to join. But I was General too, wasn't I? And that training dictated battle field triage. We were at war and the galaxy hung in the balance. 

It was a handful of days ago when the Jedi had pulled me out of darkness. It felt like an eons. The Jedi rescued me from the pit of relentless despair. In that processes, I unshackled myself from the Sith. I was Jedi. And we Jedi, valued all life.

That would have been a nice truth, wouldn't it? If it were only that easy.

I was Jedi and real truth like the value of life was our way too. 

Blazing through the emergency holocom, a raven haired beauty with the most beautiful green eyes, spoke, "This is the _Red Star_ We're under attack, help us--!" The signal was cut off. Jammed. It did not even matter what she said. Her face was etched in my memory. I knew her from a life time ago. And she... she was even more beautiful than I remembered her to be._ Kiyomi Lin_. 

"Troi, watch our back. Yvonne, get as close to that freighter. This is a rescue op."

I was waiting for either one to question my decision. None came. Troi was the consummate professional. She was a soldier in the Alliance Navy, sworn to protect its citizens and I was her commanding general. And Yvonne? She saw who was in danger. Perhaps, she knew even before I did what the obvious choice was. 

Yvonne throttled the engines and pointed _Nevermore_ towards the _Red Star_ and I was targeting every predator starfighter in range.

We broke formation.

Troi's starfighters slashed and cut through the swarm of Predators circling the _Red Star_. Just like in the simulation. But this was real life. Our hit and slash tactic could not be used here. _Nevermore_ had to dock with _Red Star_. Delta would be left to fend for themselves against insurmountable odds. If our attacks earlier saw no casualties, save for a few damaged craft, this wave practically guaranteed our time was up.

An Imperial cruiser was pounding the _Star'_s aft shields. I didn't need the Force to tell me what the outcome would be. _Red Star_ was finished. It was just a matter of time. 

Delta paired off in wings. Standard battle protocol. Troi had her boys well-trained. I heard the chatter on the comms. 

"Delta-three! Delta-three, I can't shake 'em---" And then silence. 

"AAHHHHHH!!" came the thunderous battle cry of Delta-Four as he slammed his starfighter against two predators who were on Delta Lead's tail.

Another life snuffed out of the universe. We would morn later. There was a job to be done.

"Yvonne, bring us to the forward access port, I'm going aboard to pick up survivors."

"Aye, sir." 

_Nevermore_ rocked and rattled as potshots came at her shields. Yvonne would fly the ship as best she would. There was only so much anyone could do. The hatched locked on the ithe star/i and the dorsal hatch, opened. "Shields are holding. I don't know how long it will hold captain." 

"Understood," I said. 

Smoke and blown panels were everywhere and most of the crew lay dead. I made my way to the bridge. The Force let me know that Kiyomi was still alive. She was distraught but her presence in the Force was clear. There were only two of them left alive on this ship.

"Kiyomi!" I called as the bridge doors parted. Blaster pointed at me, ready to fire.

"Morio?" And through the Force, I felt her relax as she lowered the blaster. Relieved. I saw tears flowing down her sweet face. Even soot and torn coverall could not hide her beauty. I was tempted to hug her. It was tempting to wrap my arms around her. 

Then I heard his cough like a knife cutting through reality. The other survivor. And I step forward. "We have to get out of here." I said. 

And I saw her winced at the sight of my face as I stood in front of her. She saw the scar running through my right eye. It was a remembrance of my bitter struggle with the darkside but she did not say a word.

"My fiance, Kor Shan. Kor, This is... Sun Morio" And I saw dried blood on his knee. I knew he could not stand. "Master Morio," Kor said. 

"Captain," Yvonne called through comms, "We don't have much time. Shields are buckling." 

"Acknowledge, we're moving out." 

I turned to Kor. "We don't much time for pleasantries." I wrapped my black cloak around Kiyomi and then lifted Kor up and supported his badly injured knee. Kiyomi took his other side and we slowly made our way out of the bridge and back into my ship. The journey back to my ship felt like an eternity. The _Red Star_ rocked and rolled and the klaxon blazed everywhere. 

"We're aboard," I said as soon as the hatch closed. Yvonne didn't need to acknowledge. The docking clamps did the acknowledging for her. And once more, _Nevermore_ flew free. It took an instance and the shock wave from the dying _Red Star_ gripped my ship and we were falling once more. 

But Yvonne was a good pilot and she flew _Nevermore_ unlike any. Somehow I had managed to drag Kor and Kiyomi to my bridge and strapped the other man into a seat behind Yvonne. Kiyomi strapped herself to the seat beside him. Through the Force, I saw the love flowing freely between them like a gentle calming stream as they held hands.

"Report," I commanded Yvonne, almost growling. 

"We're down to five fighters. Aft mine launcher was destroyed in the explosion. Port and starboard ventricle guns are out. Port and starboard dorsal cannons down to 25 power. Shields holding at 15. Everything else can wait. We have sublight engines and hyperdrive operating at full capacity. Overall the battle is not good. Word came in from Caamas that Stazi's fleet has withdrawn. Master Skywalker has ordered all Jedi to withdraw to Ossus. We're going to have to fight our way out of this one, Captain and we're running out of weapons." 

I looked at the map and saw the path that lay ahead. Sector Flagship _Rebel Dream_ was taking a pounding from a Star Destroyer. Her guns were weakening and would soon be helpless against the Sith. It would be a matter of time before it too would fall. It needed to survive the attack. Skywalker and the Jedi needed to survive if there would be hope for the Alliance. One ship, perfectly timed could be what it would take. 

"Escape pods?" I asked Yvonne.

"We have only one left. The rest were damaged when the _Red Star_ blew up." And I knew Yvonne knew what must be done. 

I opened a channel. "_Rebel Dream_," I started. "This is Master Morio aboard _Nevermore_. Come about to two-six-four-eight mark nine. Prepare to go to hyperspace on my signal. We'll cover you. Troi--- I need you to give me some cover fire. One last time, Commander. Titan's Wave.". 

"General--- what the hell are you talking about!?" _Rebel Dream's_ Captain was not Jedi. The Jedi knew what I had in mind. They felt it in the Force. This was war and Jedi knew how to wage war... and how to protect life. 

Troi was one of my soldiers during a time before I fell to the dark side. I pinned her Lieutenant's strips. And I promoted her to full commander. She was not Jedi but I taught her somethings from the Jedi playbook. It was why Skywalker had assigned her squadron to me. After the war with the Yuuzhan Vong, Jedi had honed their strategy and tactics. And I applied my aptitude towards war to help write the Jedi playbook. Titan's Wave meant for a ship to ram itself towards the enemy, giving the others a chance to escape. No Jedi have had to execute it in years. But Jedi certainly practiced it in simulation and during training. 

"Copy. Titan's Wave". Troi acknoweldged.

"Yvonne, take Kiyomi and Kor to the escape pods and prepare for Lazarus Protocol". I pushed and directed the ship towards the _Dream_._ Nevermore's_ droid-based computer core was nearly as smart as any R2 unit from the Galactic Republic. It could elude Imperial star fighters. It could maneuver fast enough to keep the good shields towards any attacking foe and still inch the ship towards the _Dream_... at least, long enough for the passengers to get to the escape pod.

"Understood." Yvonne said as she unstrapped herself and carried Kor out of the bridge. Kiyomi was puzzled. And her face framed the question. "What?" 

I looked in her eyes and simply said, "We're going to ram this ship towards the bridge of that star destroyer and give the _Dream_ a chance for hyperspace."

By the time Kiyomi and I reached the bridge's aft escape pod, Yvonne had already strapped Kor to a podseat. Kiyomi settled to the seat beside her love. I warped my cloak around her to keep her warm and walked to where Yvonne stood, just by the escape pod hatch.

Yvonne looked into my eyes. She knew what needed to be done. She reached out to unlock a panel on her cranium, and then a cylinder popped out of her head. Yvonne's blue eyes, once bright with life dimmed to nothing. Lazarus Protocol. The cylindrical tube was Yvonne's programming and memory core. If machines had a soul, the cold steal rolling on my palm was Yvonne Rendal.

Kiyomi was wide-eyed as I took all that remained of my only companion. "She was a replica droid?" 

"Yes." And I thew it to her and I knew it would land on her palm. Before she could unstrap herself, I locked the escape hatch. I would manually launch it as soon as the ship was within the _Dream's_ gravity envelope.

"What are you doing?" Tears were flowing her face again as she realized what that was. The escape pod doors locked. I stood on the ship's side and she was on the other. 

I remember her. Long before I became Jedi. In a time when we were both young, innocent and carefree. She had such radiant smile that could brighten a gloomy day. I never told her, how her laugh would refresh my spirit. And her emerald green eyes, how they sparkled when she was happy and how it dimmed when she was not. She was my friend and I was hers. Before anything could be more, fate stepped forward. She learned to heal and I, became Jedi who carried a blade that could kill.

"Escape pod has only room for two, Kiyomi." I spoke through the comm "And someone has to pilot this ship. Give Yvonne's memory core to Skywalker. He will know what to do with it. May the Force be wih you, Kiyomi." 

I looked at her for the briefest moment. Am I coward? A part of me wanted to say, that I loved her. It was after all, the truth. But not all truths needed to be spoken. Not all truths needed to be heard. I didn't need to hear if she did or did not love me back. I knew who she loved by the gift of the Force. That person was right beside her in that escape pad. Making her doubt that even for an instant, would be selfish and cruel, even if her loved stayed where it was now. 

Was I being a coward right here, right now? 

I made my way to back to the bridge. I could hear Kiyomi pounding at the door.

"Troi, I'll need you to keep the escape pod close to the _Dream_ Are your jump codes locked in?" My heads-up display told me of the dozen Delta fighters, only 3 remained. Delta Leader, Five and Nine.

"Copy that, _Nevermore_."

I let the Force flow through me. And the universe became like a giant refreshing stream. 

I felt my hand steady and sure guide the ship towards the star destroyer. The _Dream_'s shields were buckling. It was only a matter of time. And I dropped elevation and skirted just right above the Dream's hull and ejected the escape pod. I felt Kiyomi's despair and dread as zero gravity took her and Kor. They were tumbling freely in space. I knew through the Force that Troi would lock on to the escape pod, and wrap her shields around it.

My hand pointed _Nevermore_ sharply towards the Star Destroyer. I was strapped in tight and every turn would be painful. There was no gravity aboard and no life support. I had diverted everything to the shields, to the weapon systems and to the hyperdrive generators. Had I not been a Jedi the centrifugal force would have crushed me.

Left finger hot on the trigger. I launched all the torpedoes. Boom! Boom! Boom! They go and I felt their force of launch shake the ship like a ferocious battle cry. And all the guns went on auto target. If a machine could ever be insane, the unrelenting guns that came pouring out of _Nevermore_ was just that. 

I consciously reached out to the emergency hyperspace trigger and through the Force could feel it reaching critical mass. Then I gunned the sublight engines for ramming speed. The Star Destroyer captain saw my maneuver. And the full weight of an Imperial Star Destroyer pressed on my tiny little ship. 

I remember the first day I got her. Jedi were not allowed possessions and upon knighthood, I had liquidated my heritage. Save Yvonne, and this ship which I had committed to the Jedi. _Nevermore_ belonged to my father and his father before me. She was a privateer's ship. Fast and deadly. And now she was dying by my hand. piece by little piece, her hull flew out. burning. scorched.

There is a secret as to why Titan's Wave had not been executed by the Jedi for the longest time. It required one special ingredient. It needed a hyperdrive engine set to fold space-time at just the right moment of impact to destroy the enemy completely. The maneuver required a sufficiently powerful hyperdrive engine. The ramming ship couldn't be a capital ship, but a light attack one that could slip past a Star Destroyer's defenses. And the Jedi had to be the pilot to take the ship in close enough for the gravity shock wave to have the desired effect.

My mind looked back through time and I was tempted to brush Kiyomi with the Force. Naturally, I held back.

The human heart is a masterpiece of work filled with infinite mystery. Can anyone truly understand and appreciate this marvelous creation? The great depth it falls for hate, lust, greed and power. I had spent a part of my life in darkness. I let greed, and lust for power and knowledge blind me to what was true. When the Sith betrayed me, it restored my sight. Can anyone truly understand the heights it can reach? Jedi Masters--- who were my friends helped me see the way back home and saw the truth and the Force for what it was: friendship, loyalty and kindness. 

I had been a fool to go dark! 

Here in this final moment, some will call this act, "bravery". To give up one's life for one's friends, is that not brave? That others may have a chance to keep the flame of truth and justice burning, is that not self-sacrifice? Here in this moment, others shall rightfully judge me a fool. I am a coward. I dare not love. A coward and a fool for not having the strength to dare and chance and maybe just maybe she may love back. Is it not a coward's way when one chooses not to live? And I felt my hand pull the trigger and the universe dissolved in an infinite bright light. 

What a marvelous creation the human heart is. In a single instance, it can both live and die. In a single instance, both be most brave and most coward.


End file.
